Ok so we all know that I haven't blogged in a couple of months now. In that time not much has happened. Ok, so a lot but only if we're considering weight gain.
I know what you may be thinking right now. Yes, I actually have gained A LOT of weight. Unfortunately I've become a lazy fat ass and I don't even have the excuse that I lay on the couch, watch soap operas and eat bon bons a la Peggy Bundy style. Believe it or not. I didn't want to believe it myself until today. Today I was at cheer practice (remember, I'm a cheer coach for my daughter's middle school team) and I happened to be standing in front of about 10 fullsize mirrors. Anyway, I glanced over at something and I thought "WHOA! Is that really me?" I felt like I was looking into a funhouse mirror. You know the kind that make you short & fat? So I tried to not look back into mirror. Then came time to show someone how to do a foward roll. (Parents, teach your kids how to at least do a somersault aka foward roll. But that is a different conversation). Anyway, I was squatting down to show her how to begin and man....I felt like a weeble. C'mon, you know how it goes right? A weeble can wobble but it can't fall over. Yes, that is exactly how I felt. Much like this picture, if only I was that adorable.
Now before you start to say "well you had to have other clues that you were gaining weight!" Yes, you are right, I did have other clues but I didn't realize how big I have gotten until now. I knew I gained weight since I quit smoking 6 months ago. I would be the first to tell you. Yes, my clothes were getting tighter. Yes, my muffin top was turning into a serious spare tire. I guess I was just in denial. The biggest thing was yesterday when I went to put on a pair of pants (not stretchy, not jeans, but a weird material) and I literally had to squeeze myself into them. Let's just say that it hurt. Even going to the doctor didn't help me realize my size. Well, I know it now.
It is funny, I had mentioned the other day about having the desire but no motivation. I have had the desire to do something about it for about a month now but have zero motivation to actually get off my butt and do anything about it. So let's take a step back and look at what happened for my tremendous weight gain. (No, I am not going to divulge how much but it is a lot more than one should gain in a time span of 3 months) Well if you have followed my blog then you would know that I was running over the summer to try to train for a couple of 5k runs that I had signed up for. I participated in those and did fairly well considering. Then it all stopped. I ran the 2nd 5k and took a week off. Then I went out of town for work, which meant another week off. Then after that work has been so crazy that I haven't even been going on the wellness walks. Of course the weather is pretty cold these days but that is no excuse. Basically since the end of September I haven't done any cardio activity. I went for a walk last week with my boss around the parking lot at work and I was so winded. It made it difficult to talk without gasping for air, granted it was around 30 degrees outside.
So what am I going to do about it? I have no clue whatsoever. I think about things and say "oh yeah, I could do that" or "This sounds like a good idea" but unfortunately I still don't have the motivation required to help me succeed. I don't want to set myself up for failure (as if that hasn't happened already). I'm not disciplined enough for a diet and I know that is like 80% of weight loss. So until I figure it out, I will sit here and continue to be depressed and eventually will come around. Hopefully anyway.
Well, there you have it. A quick update. Thanks for reading.
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