Insanity Day 4

*Warning: contains adult language*

Cardio Recovery huh? I call BS! That is just a play on words for really meaning we are going to make you sore in all the other places you aren't sore yet by making you sit in postitions that you have no business sitting in. Yes, straight to business today.

Ok ok, twist my arm some more why don't you? I will tell you about my day. Like I predicted last night my calves were super sore today. It hurt just to straighten my legs completely. Walking was a whole other story. Of course as the day went on the soreness began to fade but not completely. I guess this is my new normal. This morning I was forewarned about tonights workout. That just because it is supposed to be just stretching it is still quite the workout. Yeah, that crazy ass wants to turn me into a ballerina.



I just say "Thank goodness for my dance (as a child) and cheer experience!" Otherwise I would have been face planted tonight. Find your core, find your balance, kiss my ass. Yes, let's not do cardio so you are a hot sweaty gasping for air mess but instead let's move very s.l.o.w.l.y. and hold the postition while maintaining your balance and feeling the burn. Yes, I felt like there was a forest fire in my legs tonight. Stand on one foot while you hold your other leg here, stick your arms out and your other leg there, hold it for a minute, blah freaking blah Shaun T! Let's not even discuss the pulse. Just don't! Yes, I tried and I was shaking and this is what my legs felt like:



So enough of that nonsense of recovery while we make you sweat while feeling the burn but not making your heart beat out of your chest and your lungs feel like they don't exist.

I was told about a phone app to use as my food journal. I'm not sure I like it because it counts calories. Idon't want to to become obsessive with it. For those that know me they know I have a very addictive personality. It is called "Lose It" and it is pretty cool that you can just scan the bar code of whatever you are adding and it adds it for you. Easy enough! Speaking of eating, I just defeated the purpose of all my workouts this week by treating myself to chick-fil-a. The only crappy thing is that I ate after I worked out and I just wasn't feeling it all that much. Blah!

Still debating the Shakeology vs. Body by Vi shakes. Anyone with insight or suggestions, comments, likes, dislikes, anything, please comment to let me know what you think.

Oh...did I mention yet that I'm about 75% sold on this gravity fit class? The only downfall is that it is at 8am on Saturday. EIGHT AY EM! That is obsurd! Anyway, it is at the new gravity park. For those that don't know what that is, it is a huge play area with a ton of trampolines. I was talking to the Workout Queen tonight about it some more and she has the nerve to say "I think we are going to be very sore after it!" Yeah, ya think? I'm already freaking sore! It just sounds fun. I mean, who doesn't love trampolines? I will keep you updated if I do end up going to this nonsense of a class.

Ok, time to go tend to a sickly baby. Ok, so she's not a baby anymore, but she is my baby so back off! HA!

Insanity Day 3 - battle of the front butt

Let me help you out with this one. The caption says: When you have to double check to see if you are as fat as people joke about.

There was a different picture I wanted to use today but I felt this one was perfect. Why you ask? Well let's start by just saying that I took my "before" pictures tonight. I'm just hoping that I am able to have "after" pictures to be able to compare it to. OK wait, let me rephrase that. I'm just hoping that my "after" pictures are a smaller, more fit me than what was taken tonight. I had my daughter take the pictures and I haven't looked at them yet. To be honest, I'm a little scared to see them. I took "before" pictures back in June of last year. You remember, when I first started running? Well needless to say, I didn't take any "after" pictures after that one. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure that the "after" pictures would have been worse than the before pictures. I just remember when I saw the video of me crossing the finish line at the Chocolate Run and wondering how I didn't knock myself out with my boobs. No, this is NOT a good thing. However, that is neither here nor there.

Today I was sore all over. I had sore muscles that I'm pretty sure I haven't used these muscles in, well, ever. I wasn't sore to where I couldn't move, but just uncomfortable at times. My back, my calves, my quads...all of em. My abs even had a slight soreness. Which is funny because I didn't feel like I was using my core at all with last nights cardio polymetric some crap workout. Then we went for an afternoon walk. I'm going to say that it was around 2 miles. I should have put on my runtastic app but I didn't think we were going to walk for so long. I know that around the parking lot at work is slightly over a half mile. Then the other way we went was over the mile that we used to walk for our work wellness walks. By the time we were rounding back to the office my legs were tightening up and my knee was starting to hurt. Did I mention it was cold and windy outside? Yes, I felt like a popscicle. To the point that when we walked back into the office it felt like a sauna. YIKES! Did I mention that the walk was up and down hill? I'm sure it would have been a lot easier if it was just flat land. In a sense (as my walking buddy Bossy Buck <--that's my boss) it was most likely a good thing to walk to get my muscles moving to decrease some of the soreness. Yeah yeah...

Today I also decided that I was going to have this bright idea to start a food journal. Why on God's green earth would anyone want to do that? So as I was writing down what I indulged in yesterday I realized that I snack waaaaayyyyyyy too much! Even though it's not donuts, chocolate, or candy I'm sure it is still not good. Today was a cheer day and I didn't snack at all at work, surprisingly. Maybe one day I will start posting it here. I won't count calories because that is too OCD for me but I will keep track of what I eat. Granted tonight I went to Souper Salad for dinner. Yes, I still pigged out at the all-you-can-eat salad bar. I'm sure that could become unhealthy as well. Boy, I tell you what...this trying to lose weight and be healty crap is for the birds! I say that being healthy is overrated. HA!

So for tonight, I did survive day 3. I'm actually quite amazed because I think I did more of the video than I did last night. I'm not sure if it is because my children were working out with me tonight and I didn't want to seem like such a loser in front of them or if I was just that competitive that I had to try to do more than them. Either way I guess it was a win-win situation. It is funny working out witht them because they try to out-do each other. Then my daughter tries to be a motivator with me. "You're doing good Mom!" "Good Job Mom!" "You can do it Mom!" "Mom, take a rest, you look like a tomato (or something to that effect)." You know what sucks? When you are so freaking hot and sweaty then when you cool down you get the shivers because you realize that it is still winter and the house is cold! Yes, that sucks! You know what else sucks? The fact that I sat down on my recliner couch to power on my laptop so I can update the blog (my self motivator) and then have to get up to tend to the children or use the restroom and your legs are so sore that you are walking like you have a pole up your wazoo! Yes, I'm slightly dreading tomorrow because I'm sure it will be the point where I can't move and no longer just uncomfortable.

All in all, I think I still dislike this video. It is nice to see that the people in it also can't hack it and have to rest on their own and all that mess but still, they look great already so it is kind of like a wash. Still debating the whole beachbody coach thing. Still debating the whole shakeology vs body by vi thing. Still waiting to have lunch with Beautiful Betty, which has been pushed back to next week. And while texting with Running Regina today I decided that I just need to become rich so I can have my own personal trainer in my own personal gym and a personal chef to cook for me.



But since she burst my bubble of that I will just try to keep my eye on the prize!



Oh! I almost forgot. You may still be wondering about the title and the picture that I said was so perfect for tonight. Well tonight at dinner I was telling my mom about front butt. She hadn't ever heard about front butt. I was surprised because she is always talking about the fatasses she works with. So while stuffing my face with my spinach bed salad I was telling her about front butt she was laughing and rolling her eyes at me. Point being, I have the beginnings of front butt. I've said this since a few months ago and my office mates laughed at me and told me to basically STFU. HAHAHAHA! I'll spare you the front butt pictures for now. If you want to know just google it.

Time for me to call it a night and waddle my tail to the bed. Day 3 down, 57 more to go.

Insanity Day 2

Ok Folks...



Ha Ha! We should all know better by now. In all seriousness though, I completed day 2 of the Insanity workout. If that is what you really want to call it. I say that because I think I spent more time hunched over huffing and puffing while gasping for air than I did actually doing the workout. OK slight exaggeration but I did really only complete half of it. Last night I did the fit test and today I felt it. This one spot on my back was sore all day. Now, while I sit telling you all about my day (since I no longer have a facebook) I can feel the soreness from tonights workout. I know you are all so grateful to have me to tell you all these stories of what I put myself though. Can I have a piece of cake? I kid, I kid.

I am really motivated right now and if you remember, the last time I was motivated I signed up for 2 5k runs. Today I had someone ask me if I was doing the Warrior Dash. I don't think I'm in any shape to be doing that even if just for fun. We shall see. Right now my motivation is telling me to become a beach body coach and get more products so I can overwhelm myself with these workouts. If you become a coach you get a discount and blah blah blah. Needless to say I found a freaking bargain. We'll see though, I'm giving myself a few days to really think this over. As of right now I'm not liking Insanity because I suck at it.

One thing I will say though is that my eating habits are slightly changing already. I can hear you now thinking "yeah right!" Seriously though, today I had to force myself to eat a bowl of oatmeal, then at lunch I felt so full after my steamer bowl. Of course I wanted snacks later on in the afternoon but that is normal. Now mind you, I rarely eat breakfast. Yes, I know and I don't want your lecture on how breakfast is the most important meal of the day. So anyway, tonight after my workout we had fried chicken and potato wedges from the grocery store deli. I couldn't even eat more than a few bites of the chicken because it just wasn't good to me. This is NOT normal by any means because I love me some greasy fat food. I am not complaining, just making note. This really has me wondering if diet is mental. Again, no comments from the peanut gallery! We are ALL mental, not just me.

On that note, I am going to sign off for now.

Stay tuned for tomorrows update...if I can survive the workout.

Earthquake!

Did you all feel that? I hear it hit about a 7 on the richter scale. Please stay alert for aftershocks.

Just kidding, I did the fit test for Insanity tonight. Needless to say I feel like I'm going to pass out after my head explodes. This is what I felt I looked like doing it:



Ok so let me explain. I had just about lost all hope on borrowing this video from Running Regina. You remember her don't you? I had asked her several times and she hesitated then offered P90 but that was on loan to another friend and that has yet to be returned. Wait, let's back up a couple more weekends. I was at a friends house for her birthday shin dig. We were talking about weight, being fat and weight loss. A friend invited me to join her, her husband and her sister in their own weight loss challenge. I kindly declined because, as I explained to them, I have the desire but no motivation. So instead I took the idea to those I see daily (for my own greed of me hoping for the daily motivation)to see if they would want to do this challenge with me. Basically we started today (weigh in) and whoever loses the most 1 month from today will be paid $1 per pound lost (by each other participant). So if we have 8 people, then 7 people will pay out $1 per each pound that the winner lost. If I lose 20lbs and that is the most out of everyone that is an easy $140 in my pocket.

SO fast foward to last night. I could not sleep for crap! When I saw the clock say 3:45am I knew I was doomed for today. I believe it was the anticipation and dread of having to weigh in today. I also was up til slightly after 1am texting with an old friend of mine who happens to be a beyond beautiful fitness model. I've asked her to help me with motivation and drive. We are gonig to see what will work for me since diet is a huge part of weight loss but I have about zero discipline when it comes to diet. I want my cake and I want to eat it too! I LIKE CAKE! Ok so that was more of an inside joke between Running Regina and I. Today I walk into work and immediately they were talking about me. Asking me if my ears were burning and nearly tackling me in the hallway. Ok so I was slightly late than what I normally arrive. Everyone else was also anticipating the weigh in. However, to my surprise Running Regina came through and is letting me borrow Insanity. Why did I ever want to do this? Aside from the fact that it helped her and she looks amazing in my eyes now. OH wait, back to last night. As you can see I'm slightly out of my mind. I blame the lack of oxygen from the Insanity Fit Test. So anyway, last night I was remembering how I was contacted by a beach body employee about plugging them. So I pulled up the email and then looked into becoming a coach. I know nothing about this. While I was there I remembered that over the weekend I had looked at purchasing Insanity for myself. Then I saw the Turbo Fire video. I was 98% sold and almost purchased it last night. After this Fit Test I'm beginning to thing that I might really like this Turbo Fire better. We shall see how far I get with this video. Even after last night I mentioned to Beautiful Betty how I don't care for home workout videos because I get bored and when I get bored, I get distracted. Can anyone say A.D.D.?

So here I sit writing again and in my mind thinking to myself about how I plan to blog each night I do this workout. I may even include some self pictures of my progress. We shall see about that one. I figure, like with running and training for the 5k's, if I blog it then skip a night I will feel guilty. Well I am going to cut this one short because my head really feels like it is going to explode and I must've been squinching my face (is squinching even a real word? It is now in my book.) while attempting to work out because it hurts too. No comments from the peanut gallery. I can just hear all you smart-asses right now. Yes, it hurts me too. blah blah blah

So stick around, this could be very interesting since I am not a fan of sweating, working out, running or anything that does not involve stuffing my face with food. Wish me luck! I want to win this money...all while becoming more fit and happy with my self image.

Paper Weight, Heavy Weight

Well Hello there! How are you? Yes...you!

Ok so we all know that I haven't blogged in a couple of months now. In that time not much has happened. Ok, so a lot but only if we're considering weight gain.

I know what you may be thinking right now. Yes, I actually have gained A LOT of weight. Unfortunately I've become a lazy fat ass and I don't even have the excuse that I lay on the couch, watch soap operas and eat bon bons a la Peggy Bundy style. Believe it or not. I didn't want to believe it myself until today. Today I was at cheer practice (remember, I'm a cheer coach for my daughter's middle school team) and I happened to be standing in front of about 10 fullsize mirrors. Anyway, I glanced over at something and I thought "WHOA! Is that really me?" I felt like I was looking into a funhouse mirror. You know the kind that make you short & fat? So I tried to not look back into mirror. Then came time to show someone how to do a foward roll. (Parents, teach your kids how to at least do a somersault aka foward roll. But that is a different conversation). Anyway, I was squatting down to show her how to begin and man....I felt like a weeble. C'mon, you know how it goes right? A weeble can wobble but it can't fall over. Yes, that is exactly how I felt. Much like this picture, if only I was that adorable.



Now before you start to say "well you had to have other clues that you were gaining weight!" Yes, you are right, I did have other clues but I didn't realize how big I have gotten until now. I knew I gained weight since I quit smoking 6 months ago. I would be the first to tell you. Yes, my clothes were getting tighter. Yes, my muffin top was turning into a serious spare tire. I guess I was just in denial. The biggest thing was yesterday when I went to put on a pair of pants (not stretchy, not jeans, but a weird material) and I literally had to squeeze myself into them. Let's just say that it hurt. Even going to the doctor didn't help me realize my size. Well, I know it now.

It is funny, I had mentioned the other day about having the desire but no motivation. I have had the desire to do something about it for about a month now but have zero motivation to actually get off my butt and do anything about it. So let's take a step back and look at what happened for my tremendous weight gain. (No, I am not going to divulge how much but it is a lot more than one should gain in a time span of 3 months) Well if you have followed my blog then you would know that I was running over the summer to try to train for a couple of 5k runs that I had signed up for. I participated in those and did fairly well considering. Then it all stopped. I ran the 2nd 5k and took a week off. Then I went out of town for work, which meant another week off. Then after that work has been so crazy that I haven't even been going on the wellness walks. Of course the weather is pretty cold these days but that is no excuse. Basically since the end of September I haven't done any cardio activity. I went for a walk last week with my boss around the parking lot at work and I was so winded. It made it difficult to talk without gasping for air, granted it was around 30 degrees outside.

So what am I going to do about it? I have no clue whatsoever. I think about things and say "oh yeah, I could do that" or "This sounds like a good idea" but unfortunately I still don't have the motivation required to help me succeed. I don't want to set myself up for failure (as if that hasn't happened already). I'm not disciplined enough for a diet and I know that is like 80% of weight loss. So until I figure it out, I will sit here and continue to be depressed and eventually will come around. Hopefully anyway.

Well, there you have it. A quick update. Thanks for reading.