Despicable Me...

Ok so here's the thing, I haven't ran since the Chocolate Run. I know, so despicable! I'm not even going to try to justify it to anyone because I'm not truly sure that anyone cares about it besides me and I've already accepted the fact that I haven't run and that I've gained weight (in my opinion). I will attribute the weight gain to my body being swollen from travelling.

After the Chocolate Run I decided that I deserved a break. I took that next week off. I didn't even really go on the wellness walks at work (maybe 1 day) because I was super slammed at work and with the upcoming business trip I knew I couldn't just take my time at doing things. Yes, believe it or not, I actually concentrated on my work. In the famous words of my coworker: Awwwww you still care! So then came the weekend and I had too much going on between the kids activities and preparing for this trip. Believe me though, I wasn't feeling too sad about not running at all. Did I go to the hotel fitness center during my trip you ask? Of course not silly willy! Why would I do such a thing? My workout consisted of the once (if not more) a day I took the stairs instead of the elevator while going between my room and the hotel bar in the evenings. That is a whole other blog that I'm not going to get into right now.

Will I run tomorrow to get back into my routine at work?

*shakes magic 8 ball vigorously*

Social Networking and the ties that bind

I've been waiting for the day that I ran that 5k so I could just blog about whatever. Don't look at me like that, I didn't want to mix my thoughts. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am easily confused. So just to bring you up to speed, I had a long week and while preparing for this business trip had to actually turn on my computer to download a couple movies to watch on the plane. Since I was on I wanted to listen to some music. I logged into ustream and automatically went to the Red Room (Krupt Mob Radio) thinking Bumpy Knuckles would be supplying us with music but that channel was offline. In the meantime, I check my email and see that the Dugout (Delasouls Dugout)was broadcasting. It had been a long time since I'd been in the Dugout but I thought what the heck. In logging in I was immediately saddened to see the passing of Nikki (Nikki410). I must say that this is one of the best tribute mixes, ok best mixes I've heard in some time now. Any DJ that can and will mix any genre altogether and blend it well is an awesome DJ to me. Anyway, in wanting to check resources (as is almost always necessary with anything on the internet these days) I saw that I was a couple days late in hearing this saddening news. I read a blog by the always beautiful Reko Suave regarding the passing of her dear friend Nicole. So this brings me to my topic at hand.

Sure I've blogged about social networking before, but that was more along the lines of our (as a society) addiction to it. This is slightly different. While I still feel that we are addicted to social networking in some form or another I am going to speak on the ties that bind aka friendships formed on social networking. I don't care who you are, you will always form at least one friendship through social networking with someone that is on the other side of the city or the other side of the world from you. It's happened to us all. Unless of course maybe you are that extra cautious facebook only user that is only friends with those relatives or friends known for years already. I can honestly say that 99% of you that are reading this have never met or seen me in person much less heard my voice, yet a good 65% of you have come to know me through our interaction on social networking. Sure, this is a risk that many of us take in social networking interactions but it is a risk that I'm almost always glad I took. And who's to say that taking a risk on social networking is greater than taking a risk in person with meeting someone new? Oh look at me, going on a tanget already. Let me get back to what I really wanted to say before I stray to another branch of this topic.

My point of this blog is actually to discuss the actual friendships made through social networking. Don't even think of trying to tell me that you can't have an actual friendship with someone you've never met in person. We can go back and forth until you are blue in the face about this but I will never dispute the fact that I've made some wonderful friendships with people I've never met in person and I'm not sure that I will ever have the pleasure of doing so. There are a select few that I would love to meet in person and make that bond stronger. I'm not saying I don't want to meet others because I'd love to but there is a certain bond that I've been able to form with this select few. How is it possible for people to have such a strong connection with someone they've never met/seen/heard in person? Why are we sometimes so trusting with people we've never met in person and probably never will yet we are withdrawn from our real life friends?

To read a blog about a friendship formed over the internet and see how these two were able to have such a beautiful friendship warms my heart. To read how they considered each other "best friends" yet have never met in person may make someone question their sanity but it gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling that you only get from a true bond. It's unfortunate that it was written due to half of that bond rising above to Rest in Paradise. While I would love to write about how I've been able to form some friendships with Ms Parker and Sweetbacck this isn't what this one is about. Another time ladies. Sure, I have other other friendships with more than these two but I would be listing names for days.

I am getting the feeling that I'm about to just start rambling so let me just throw a ball at you all to reach out to those that you have made those bonds with. Strengthen those ties that bind. Let them know while they are still here that thanks to social networking you consider them a friend. Don't wait until it's too late. I personally have a habit of waiting until it's too late with those I see/know in person. There is no reason I shouldn't be able to reach out on social networking (even if I deactivated my facebook and don't see myself reactivating it anytime in the near future) to let someone know that I care.

Now I know that I'm going to miss someone and said someone's feelings will be hurt but please know it's not intentional. I'm just listing those that come to mind right away while I'm focused. (in no particular order) Delasouls Dugout/KMR/Breakfast Club/NKOTB/ShrugLife
Jillzworth
Exclusivejdm (Kaz)
Orgnl
Sweetbacck

Ms Parker
HotMixPrinceJay
Rustym2k
MrKinetik
devlsadvoct
barineau
KalJ
Saleem_1305 (Stillmatic)
Trackfiends
Trinidread
Catf1sh
JordansGirl81 (Pants <-I don't care!)
HeidiJo98
GmgDiva...Windy...
Gabboucla
Coriluvnthedon
Jazzy_Jasmine
Alauderdale
and 50 million of the GMG Divas that I actually keep in contact with every now and again.

(The first ones listed are the first ones that I followed on Twitter aside from NKOTB "friends". Back to the dugout days)

Now if you weren't mentioned don't get your panties in a ruffle.

sidenote: There are a couple I no longer interact with on social networking but I deemed it necessary to mention them.

Shout out to Eddie B Swift for that wonderful set in tribute to Nikki410. You got me through this blog. Yes folks, it took me this long to write just this little bit.

3 Month Anniversary

So I still can't believe that today marked 3 months since I quit being a "Butt Head" and quit smoking cigarettes. Some days I don't even think about it and then every once in a great while I think about "what if I had one?" It has become so natural for me but I know that I'm not in the clear just yet. I was smoke-free for over a year before and out of spite I started smoking again. Such an easy habit to pick back up. I believe that the only reason it has been so easy for me is the fact that I felt really sick the day I quit and I had the upcoming 5k's to look foward to. Now that those have passed I am really thinking that I am going to hit some bumps in the road.

Not much has changed in the last month except my weight. Even with me running 2 miles 2-3 days a week and walking 1.5 miles 2-3 days a week I have still managed to gain about a total of 15-20 lbs now. That is altogether not just in the last month. I still don't feel that I've changed my eating habit but there are those days I catch myself just snacking all day. With this weight gain it has brought my spirits down. When this happens I am unbearable to be around because I just don't care what comes out of my mouth and I tend to be very hurtful and mean. I even had to take a break from all social networking, basically twitter since I deactivated my facebook and who really goes to myspace anymore? I figure that if I don't have anything nice to say then I just need to keep to myself because I have been known to seriously hurt some feelings.

Aside from being mean, I didn't notice any serious moodswings in the last month. This is a good thing right? I don't believe that I am so quick to snap anymore. Either that or it has become such a normal thing for me that I don't notice it as being odd. Perhaps I need to ask some of those that are around me often...or not, because I don't really want to bear that guilt.

All in all I do feel great. I just see my weight as a minor but huge downfall and I will have to find a way to one day work harder at fixing it. Like I mentioned before, my son finally noticed that I quit smoking. Shows me how much my children really do pay attention to me. I think it is funny how when some people find out I quit smoking, they tell me they didn't even know I did smoke. I'm not sure if that really is a good thing or not but I'll take it as one. At least I know I wasn't a stinky smoker all the time.

I will end on that note... Keep praying for me because I know this is something I will have to deal with the rest of my life. Never know when I will really want to start again...hopefully never, but you just never know.

Thank you to those that put up with me on the regular and to everyone that is supporting me in this. Even just a "way to go" means a lot to me.