Day 45 - April 22, 2011 (1 day to go)

I can't believe that my nephew turned 17 today. My baby he once was. He was the first live child birth I witnessed. Happy Birthday Jeffrey. In two days I will have completed my Lenten journey of fasting from social networking. Why did I wake up to an email for a contest but you could only enter on Facebook? LOL It never ends does it? Tonight I went to a birthday dinner and I should've known that it would be a mess! Supposedly it was a birthday celebration/going away dinner but it didn't feel like anyone was leaving. During dinner the mention of Lent and rest days came about. I thought it was pretty funny because I just chose to continue my fast on Sunday's as well. Anyway tonight's reflection is going to be about words. Some things are just better left unsaid. Without being able to rant on social networking I've become accustomed to using my voice instead of print. with recent emotions up & down like a roller coaster I've come back to my senses that not everything felt should be said. In times where animosity is present its even better to just not say anything either. I just hope that I can remember all this when I do get back on social networking and not get that cyber courage and vent out a month and a half worth of events. I know it will all be well and that the truth will always prevail.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

No status updates.

Day 44 - April 21, 2011 (2 days to go)

As this journey closes in on the finish line I've had a hard time finding what else I can specifically reflect on. Tonight I figure why not just reflect on reflection itself. this has been something that has thrown me into the depths of every emotion through this journey. I thought the withdrawal felt from no social networking was tough, then tonight I remembered that we are always our worst critic. Sure anyone can judge you and criticize you, but it will never affect as much as you doing the same to yourself. Going without on of the biggest distractions from life has forced me to seek within myself. No matter how many substitution I've tried to use in an effort to compensate. At the end of the day its my mind trying to sort through a million thoughts. A tough daily reminder of how tough life truly is without social networking. Not that social networking makes things any easier but perhaps it just distracts you enough to forget the rough times. For some it may have the opposite effect. I suppose it all depends on how much you allow it to control your life. How deep you allow the addiction to get. No matter what the case may be, what you share through social networking is always a reflection of yourself.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors.*

No Status Updates.

Day 43 - April 20, 2011 (3 days to go)

Happy Stonerversary...I mean Happy Birthday Hitler...no, no that's not it. Ummm, Happy 3 days to go until this Lenten journey is over. From lots of self control to tons of frustration (and that was just today), I have gone through it all so far. Speaking of frustration, tonight I'm going to reflect on personal communication. Ok so more like venting. Just like social networking, personal communication can cause much frustration. This, of course, can cover both sides of texting. Is it always better to be able to hear the voice and be able to understand the tone of what's being said? Sure there is cyber-bullying but is it easier to be able to read the words and (mis)interpret it in your own way? And then there's venting... Everyone needs an outlet. I don't care what age, sex, race, whatever you are, everyone has to find a way to get things out and off their chest. I have since come to the conclusion that it's much easier to vent on social networking just to get it out, even if you pretend everyone is reading, than to vent to your friends in real life. I felt today when venting as though I were such a drama queen, when in reality I just needed to release my frustrations. that in turn forced me to hold things in and remind myself that I'm reflecting now and not turn this entry into a bitchfest. Personal communication can bring you up but it can also bring you down just as quickly. Of course I've become more adapted to personal communication I can't wait, metaphorically speaking, to be able to have my friends that live in the computer. I love and adore my real life friends (not so much acquaintances) but I think they're getting sick of me quite frankly. Three more days left to stay strong, that's all I have left to say tonight.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

No status updates today.

Day 42 - April 19, 2011 (4 days to go)

I'm having a hard time deciding on what to reflect on tonight. So let's go with how consumed social networking makes you. It's easy to turn a blind eye at the earliest or most obvious sign of addiction. Of course the first thing said could be "I'm not addicted" or "you can't get addicted to social networking". You sure can and I can definitely speak from experience on it. When I heard a story of friends who went out to dinner and their friends husband/boyfriend was on his phone all night using Facebook and other apps I was almost disgusted. I know I was bad about it but not to where I couldn't put my phone down during dinner. I see it all too often but have never thought twice about it. How annoying are we as a generation now to constantly have a phone stuck to your face? I suppose that could include texting also. I've also thought about how branding is fully taking advantage of social networking to gain your attention also. Just about every print ad, every commercial I see or hear mentions twitter or facebook, sometimes both. Its as if addiction is inevitable.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

No status updates today.

Day 41 - April 18, 2011 (5 days to go)

I have logged yesterday as my 40th day without social networking. However, on my calendar at work it was today. It all comes down to perception and how you count it. I am sticking to yesterday since today marks "rest day" #1. As I begin to reflect on my journey without social networking I question myself on how I've been able to stay so strong. the first thing that comes to mind is that I'm a person of my word. If I say I'm going to do something I do it, or at least make an attempt to do it. Maybe I can teach myself to do the same with going to the gym. In the best of times and in the worst of times I have questioned my words, and my strength to keep them. I have been reminded through self reflection how much people peak empty words. there are so many times I've come across people in real life, as well as on social networking, who say things just to say it. It makes me ponder how so many can speak without meaning. Wasn't it Dr. Seuss maybe, I can't recall off hand, that said "Say what you mean and mean what you say"? Perhaps I just value words to much. Call it what you want, I am me, the only person I know how to be.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

Day 40 - April 17, 2011 (6 days to go)

Another day filled with things to do in an effort to keep my mind from any urges or temptations of social networking. That is until it came time to get a new phone. That's a very big decision for me. Its not like when I lived in Europe and would get a new phone every six months. I had my blackberry for 2 1/2 years and it never did me wrong until recently with the batter dying so fast. In the end it was going to be better to upgrade than to buy a new battery. My big urge was when I couldn't decide between staying with Blackberry or switching to iPhone or Droid. In the end I decided on my own to stick with Blackberry since it suited my needs...for now. Who would've thought I could make such a big decision on my own without consulting my social networking friends? Now will someone please tell me why I woke up to 25 emails from facebook!? Why didn't I think this through more thoroughly enough to turn off all my email notifications? This is gonna make for some interesting reading when I am able to log back in. As this concludes my 40 days and 40 nights I will begin to reflect on my days as I make up the "rest days" during Lent.

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

No status updates today.

Day 39 - April 16, 2011 (1 day to go)

Happy Birthday to my nephew. Another year into adulthood. OK now to the matter at hand...crap I forgot to file my state taxes. Thank goodness for the extended deadline this year. So I think I've gotten a bad case of shortitis! Knowing that one week from today will be my last day in this journey. I am fully expecting anxiety to set in something fierce this week. Today was fairly uneventful otherwise. Next weekend I will be at a birthday celebration downtown. So I hope my phone batter lasts long enough for me to log in at midnight. Or do I wait until after we do the family Easter celebration then log in? Decisions decisions...It's OK, I have 7 days to torture myself with that. And to think that tomorrow is 40 days and 40 nights. So frustrating! thank goodness it's almost over because I'm almost out of paper in this notebook. I have seven pages with a couple to spare and I'm sure I will do a special reflection entry...if I can pull myself away from social networking long enough to write. Look here I am already knowing its going to consume me. Sheesh!

Until we meet again...

*I journal nightly before bed and am not responsible for any spelling or grammatical errors*

No status updates today.